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The Filipina Booknote

Hi I'm Ella! A piano teacher and a bookworm who found solace in fiction books and music. 

The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars - John Green If only tears can speak.

Originally posted on The Filipina Booknote

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

WARNING: This review is a bit emotional and personal, but guaranteed no spoilers. :)

“Without pain, how could we know joy?"

You know that feeling when you thought you’re already okay then suddenly this one thing forces you to have a speed flashback? This right here, is what I am feeling right now as I write this review. I have been putting down reading this book because, I don’t know, maybe I was waiting for the right moment, or wait til the movie comes out. But after being convinced by my blogger friends, I decided it’s time to read the book.

“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”

Hazel Grace Lancaster has been living a life of a terminal cancer patient. She carries around her own oxygen tank to support her breathing and has been miraculously fighting cancer for three years. After being diagnosed her life has never been normal, or healthy. She had to take meds, had regular hospital visits, and cancer support group meetings. Her parents wanted her to have a normal teenage-y life but to her she can never have that because she believes that all she had is cancer and her coming death. This was all twisted by a hot and charming guy she met at the support group, Augustus Waters. Unlike Hazel, Gus has been NEC(no evidence of cancer) for fourteen months when they met. Eye contact, oblivion debate and a metaphor weren’t really common things that would make a girl like a guy, but for Hazel those were enough to keep her interested in Gus.

“I'm in love with you," he said quietly.

"Augustus," I said.

"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”

Hazel and Gus are two beautiful people portraying relatable characters. They were opposites yet they can’t help but get stuck to each other, like magnets. It might have been a case of instant love but I honestly won’t consider them falling on that criteria. Even in silence and absence of words, they understand each other. Even at the comfort of their own hospital beds they find ways to make each other feel loved, and beautiful. They were characters hard not to love but I didn’t just love Hazel or Gus, I loved them both. They made me think of the little infinities I spent with the people I have loved and lost. Oh my, I was so touched by these two, my tissues ran out. John Green did a great job bringing out the emotions out of all the characters in this book. Not just Hazel and Gus, but also their family and friends and even an alcoholic but amazing writer.

“But I believe in true love, you know? I don't believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.”

Even before I was pushed to read this book, I knew this will be a sad book. Why? It had cancer and if it has cancer then death’s automatically there too, but of course I had my doubts too. I have read other hyped books that talked about sickness and death but some of them never met my expectation and disappointed me. I was scared this will be the same too that I kept on postponing reading this. But. I’ve never been so glad I was wrong. I don’t know much about John Green, but after reading this book I am starting to think if he has someone, or if he, diagnosed with cancer. I don’t know if what I am feeling right now is biased, but seeing someone suffer and die from cancer is very painful. You have this strange feeling of wanting the person to survive and at the same time die just for the suffering and pain to end. And this was the speed flashback I felt upon reading this book.

This book made me smile, swoon, and cry a LOT, and I don’t regret a single tear that fell from my ducts. I had a hard time reading this book because it reminded me a lot of my older brother, his fight, pains, suffering and his death. I cried and had a hard time keeping my tears at bay(even now as I was writing and reminiscing parts of the book I am still tearing up). Yes it was a sad book but it was a good kind of sad, one that will make you miss someone and at the same time feel relief because you know he’s out there saying “okay? okay.”

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”
“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”